For every pair of Gods helping a man get laid, there is also another pair of Gods helping a woman get laid. You think it’d just be easy if these two groups just said ‘Hey let’s have sex’ but noooo.
So the main character has to get help from his fat friend. Who actually isn’t a total virgin.
And so the female character has female sex gods helping her. Note to women with a large plushie collection, hide them before the Gods of Sex come. Because if you have a large plushie collection, you probably are a 30 year old virgin.